a description of natural childbirth

I am on a baby website that allows women to post topics and answer questions and concerns about pregnancy, parenting, and everything in between. A girl posted a topic last night, something about it being her first baby and she was "deathly afraid of labor". Several people commented on the topic, but I really like this answer in particular and thought I would repost it....

"Ok... so speaking as a birthing assistant, here is a labor overview for you. This is the description of a natural, unmedicated birth where you allow nature to do its thing!
If you want to feel something similar to contraction pain, here is a visual for you. Grab your leg and try to pull it up towards your head as far as you can. (or stretch forward like you're doing a hamstring stretch.) When you get to that stretching/burning/aching sensation in your hamstring... push a little farther til you think its almost unbearable... and that is pretty similar to the pain of a contraction. Same type of pain. Although it's located in your pelvic/cervix area mostly... The tightening doesn't really hurt your belly, it starts to tighten and as it reaches its peak, the achy burning starts up in your cervix... so kind of where you would feel period cramps. (back labor is a totally different thing, and I have never experienced that, so I cant describe it first hand for you). Contractions only last about two minutes and then they release so you get a break in between. You are not in constant pain... if you can relax and get through those two minutes you get a chance to breathe and rest a minute before the next one. You can endure pretty much anything for two minutes! (and the peak of the contraction is usually only 20 or 30 seconds long, that's where it really hurts.)
You just take one at a time and relax your body into the pain, and allow it to do its work (which is stretching your cervix around baby's head and opening it all the way so you can push!) Gravity also helps this go alot faster, so its helpful to be in upright positions through much of labor, walking or sitting on a birthing stool or something. I can't stress enough, RELAXATION is the key!
The more tense you are, the longer dilation will take and the more painful it will be, so its best to try to relax completely during each contraction and release into the pain instead of tensing up and trying to fight it, as so many women do. The women who are able to relax and release into that pain most effectively tend to have the shortest labors.
That, in fact, was the hardest work of labor for me. Mind over matter, relaxing through the pain. Once you get in the groove of it and find a coping mechanism that allows you to relax, whether its a certain noise you make, a certain phrase you say, a breathing pattern, picturing something in your mind, having someone rub your feet, whatever it is, you will probably stick to it and do it the same way with each contraction. It becomes like a trance almost, as you internalize and focus your body on what its trying to do! Then between contractions you can snap out of it and be totally awake and talking in the beginning, and as labor progresses towards transition, you will probably end up dozing off and sleeping between them, or at least resting as much as possible. Just before pushing, you reach transition, which is where the contractions come one on top of the other and you feel like you have reached the end of your strength! You may begin to tremble a bit as your body is flooded with even more hormones, and you really feel like you can do no more, you are DONE! You cant do it any longer! When you reach this point, REJOICE! It means you are almost done! It only lasts a little while and then you are fully dilated and ready to push!
Then once you get to the pushing, the pain totally changes, it doesn't really hurt anymore, its very relieving for most women to be able to push with each contraction. Your contractions slow down and you may get as many as five minutes between them! Generally you snap out of your internalized mode and are very awake and focused and full of energy. (Unless your baby is presenting funny, like sunny side up, then pushing can be very long and difficult...) In a normal birth, the only part that hurts much is when the head crowns, it burns a bit. First time moms usually push right around an hour, (remember, the contractions are farther apart, so you may only have 12-15 contractions and pushes in an hour!) but it can be anywhere from ten minutes to two hours, it just depends on how the baby is presenting and how effectively mom is pushing. Then once the head is out, the rest of the body follows in a second or two and you are finished! Most triumphant moment of your life. You get this crazy hormonal high and you feel like you could get up and run a marathon, most women laugh and cry and scream and say really funny things... it's a great moment. There is nothing like the high and the relief that follows childbirth... Makes it ALL worth it when you finally have your baby in your arms!
Anyways... that's the best description of how labor works that I can give. Good luck, all of you are more than capable of giving birth to your little ones! Best of luck to you."

 

I HAD to respond because I was just blown away with this girl's answer: "Well that was a great description and I enjoyed reading it... I desperately want a natural birth this next time around and I am mentally preparing myself for it and educating myself beyond belief, hiring a doula, etc. .... but I have to admit when I was reading your description of the contractions I found myself tensing up on the couch!!! lol. I have alot of mental work to do before Jan. 31. thank you for your response to the OP (original post), it was great.... puts it all in perspective."

 

And here's what she wrote back (more AWESOME advice!): "Well I am not kidding when I say that 80 percent of the work of labor is in your mind. You get your head in the right place, and the rest will follow! Your beliefs have ALOT to do with your success. If you believe you can do it, you can! Sounds silly, but its absolutely true. There is nothing more important to your body's function than your mindset during labor. If you feel confident and safe and secure during your birthing process, your body and your hormones are better able to do their job without interference from your "fight or flight" instinct. Remember, throughout centuries of time, the human body has developed to avoid delivering a new baby into a a dangerous or fearful situation, just like animals. Labor is a force of nature, and its important not to interfere too much... (think of a pet cat, she will always hide somewhere to have her kittens). Being insecure can cause labor to stall. (why do you think so many women go to the hospital in labor only to have it peter out and be told they need pitocin???)
That being said, the fact that you are educating yourself, thinking positively, and hiring people to be with you who believe in you, believe in the process, and believe in your body tells me that you will have a wonderful birthing experience this time around! If you think you can, you can! And you will do beautifully, just as nature intended. Best of luck to you!! Your body was made to do this!"

WOW! I love that girl and I don't even know her...   :)