Wow, it seems like we've been really busy again here all of a sudden... I have alot to write about today. :)
First off, Bradyn started school on Tuesday, 9/2. It all hit me like a ton of bricks when I was making his lunch that morning... not just that Bradyn was starting preschool, but everything in general, like how fast LIFE happens and how quickly time passes. I remember my momma making me lunches when I went to Kindergarten.. now I'm 26 and married and having babies. Keith and I both got to take Bradyn in for his first day. We hugged and kissed him and told him bye. He didn't blink an eye when we left, just started playing like he was on a mission. I teared up and turned around and went in the hall with Keith following me. I felt like sitting down and bawling my eyes out, but I did manage to keep it together. Then, I had to tell Keith bye on top of Bradyn's goodbye; Keith had to be on his way to the airport because he is on yet another business trip, this time to Mexico. What a rough start to my Tuesday! I dropped Bradyn off today and was fine, no tears. I realized the other day how nice it was to go to the bathroom by myself again, something I hardly EVER get to do anymore!!! Ha ha!
In other news, Keith felt the baby kick last Friday! I was 18 weeks exactly. That is considerably earlier than when he first felt Bradyn, so we were both really surprised! Keith felt Bradyn at 21 weeks, so this was a whole 3 weeks earlier! I am so anxious to get my sonogram, but waiting hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. The time is passing quite fast actually. Here's a picture of me, taken today. I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow.
Also, I am currently searching for a birth doula. My wish is to have a natural labor and birth with this baby. I was induced and had an epidural with Bradyn. I had every intention of going natural with Bradyn, but it didn't work that way... My doctor suggested induction (mine was NOT medically necessary) and being naive, I agreed. I was not aware of the risks of indcution, I was very eager to meet Bradyn, and I didn't know how hellacious induced labor contractions would be. I am thankful that my birth turned out well with Bradyn, but I do not wish to be induced again unless it becomes necessary. I want a much different birth experience this time, my fear is that in the middle of it all, when the going gets tough, I will default to the epi again... That is why I've decided to hire a doula. I do not want simply to give birth this time, I want to experience it. A doula is "a non-medical assistant who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, emotional and informed choice) in the childbirth process." In other words, someone to keep my head on straight and keep me focused. Doulas do not replace dads, or the main support person, "the doula is an ally and occasional mentor for the father or partner. Their respective roles are similar, but the differences are crucial. The father or partner typically has little actual experience in dealing with the often-subtle forces of the labor process, and may receive enormous benefit from the birth-familiar presence of a doula in the vicinity. Even more important, many fathers experience the birth as an emotional journey of their own and find it hard to be objective in such a situation, and a doula facilitates the family process. Studies have shown that fathers usually participate more actively during labor with the presence of a doula than without one. A responsible doula supports and encourages the father in his support style rather than replaces him." There, Wikipedia explained it better than I could have. :) I believe the difference this time and when I was pregnant with Bradyn will be significant. I thought I was going to float into the hospital with Bradyn and pop out a baby. Granted, I knew it was going to hurt, and hurt badly, but I had no idea an induction would affect my body like it did. That in turn affected my mind. I was not mentally prepared for natural childbirth last time. I am educating myself by reading books and articles, I want to take an intensive childbirth class over the course of several weeks, and I think hiring a doula is the best decision I could make. Some people may be wondering why I would possibly want to do this, in fact, I have already kinda sorta been criticized for not "planning" an epidural... The fact of the matter is, a woman's body was made to birth children! Yes, there was the fall of Adam and Eve.. God said women would suffer giving birth, and I'm sure birth isn't nearly as pleasurable now as it was originally intended to be, but it is still very much do-able. God is merciful and I think if a woman is prepared and knowledgeable, trusts her body, mind, and God, she can do it! Now, if labor becomes excessively long, drawn out, and complicated, or poses any risks to the baby, I will do whatever is necessary to have my child safely.
I have to go, because I have a lunch date (kiddo-free!!!) with one of my old friends I went to college with. Mexican food, here I come!
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